One of the greatest lessons that I have learnt from the Great Goddess is to embrace that ebb and flow of feeling that seizes me from time to time.  While most of my life I had striven to gain balance and inner focus, suddenly I embraced everything that I had been struggling against: rage, sadness, despair…. Most spiritual traditions promote this ‘evenness’ of emotion, including Christianity. But these emotions are the deepest expression of our human journey and no matter how much I focused on inner peace and balance, these waves of feeling would inadvertently come and sweep me off my feet. Studying deity figures and mythology, it became apparent that the gods themselves embodied all these emotions in their purest and most intense expression. The many facets of the Goddess express grieving, rage, vengeance, jealousy, hopelessness… And when she does, she does so fully, without retinue. And so I started to do the same. When I feel, instead of putting all my efforts to drive the feelings deep down, I let go the reigns and experience them fully. I have found that it is the fear of the descent rather the descent into that world of emotion that causes us to be distressed. The feelings are neither good nor bad. They simply are.
So, yesterday, as I walked back from work, I felt a wave of intense melancholy sweep through me. I wondered if it was my intuition trying to tell me that something was wrong. There are a million things that I could probably look into. But instead of worrying, I just let myself feel the sadness, to the point of tears. I walked in the crowd and I could feel this person or that person’s sadness, impressions of their lives fleetingly moving through my mind. I stopped worrying about my life and joined the dance with everyone else.
Today, a new feeling in my body. From the depths of my stomach, a swirl of flowers and butterflies, and I just want to hug everyone. I want to talk to them, see how there are doing. A great love.

It feels so good to feel. It’s like a massage deep inside my body, like so many knots being released at once. Why do we deny ourselves this pleasure?

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