My dear friends,

I just finished my hectic job at the long-term care residence and my brain is trying to go back to a somewhat normal beat. I’m now looking forward to two weeks of rest and reflection, which should take me right up to Easter. How wonderful!

Part of the plan for this vacation was to start writing again and getting concrete ideas of where I want to take this second book. I’m hovering between a formal guide on how to practice Christian Witchcraft (as if there really could be ONE formal guide) and a continuation of my journey and how this practice came into being for me. I took out my old journals and workbooks and scanned over the first few years of my practice of Witchcraft. On these scribbled pages, I clearly see two parallel journeys: That of the student, doing her exercises, practicing her techniques and doing more spells and journeys than I actually remember, and that of the girl on an inner journey of questioning who I was, what I believed, of being torn in front of God and in front of others, of wanting to express something great and not having the words or the courage to express it. I followed this young girl in her ups and downs and often her intense state of melancholy and existential angst. I remember this girl from the depths of my memory and I still feel the intense struggle she went through, the nights of supplication for even a spark of clarity. I remember her.

What came as a surprise to me as I leafed through the pages of my life is how long that period of questioning was and how the ‘Coming together’ is a relatively recent occurrence. I’ve been bathing in Christian Paganism so intensely for the last few years, that it feels like it’s been this way all my life. But it hasn’t. Looking through my notes, I realized that it has only been about four years that I have felt this strong about what I believe. It’s as if the first part of my journey into Paganism and Christianity was merely a time to bring certain pieces in close proximity. Then, at some point, they fused together and the doubt was gone. I’ve never felt more solid about what I believe than I do right now. I believe there is magic in the world. I believe that Jesus showed us that magic and that he opened up our eyes to a new vision of the world. I believe that God is many things and that every expression of Him/Her is a sacred gift. It’s who I am, totally and completely. What happened to turn that young guilt-ridden girl into the woman I am today? Just Life, I think. And a little inner Flame.

I wanted to share this to show that transformation does not happen over night. Sometimes the road ahead is foggy. You just have to keep walking on the path you have chosen and each step will bring a little more clarity. Until the fog lifts. Let the pieces migrate towards you, try things, learn things. Then one day, without rhyme or reason, something changes and you can step up and become what you are, whatever that may be.

That’s it for me. I’m dedicating my vacation and the last two weeks of Lent to resting and reflecting. May it be a fruitful time for all of you. I’ll see you all on the path to the glorious resurrection. Until then, God/des bless.

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