April 2011


I’m slowly coming out of what seems to be a deep state of hibernation. I have been on vacation for the last two weeks, spending a lot of time sleeping, reflecting and slowing down from the fast, hectic pace that has been my life over the last six months. This time of reflection marked the end of my Lent and the celebration of Eater, which was marked with more simplicity than I have lived in years. Throughout this time, I went over my journey, trying to see what story I want to tell next. This exercise made it clear to me that for everything there is a season. The last couple seasons have been marked by the sigil of work. It was only when I stopped for a few days that I realized how relentlessly I was in pushing myself to produce more and more and to meet expectations that came from …. Not sure, actually.

So the lesson that came from this Lent was that I have to make place for Joy and Pleasure, Indulgence and a little Craziness. I’ve been neglecting these old friends. Yet, I feel that I will discover them in a new way. Not in the excess of old when I had all the energy in the world, but in that heartfelt place of a sudden burst of laughter, in the pleasure of creating something or baking chocolate chip cookies, in getting dirty and in jumping in the puddles with my son. For that was the dead giveaway: I realized that I wasn’t laughing as much as I used to. With the stress of the move, the hectic job, the lack of sleep (yes, my lovely daughter still wakes up every single night) and the worrying about my son, I just forgot to laugh and have fun. With the weather warming up, it looks like there are fun-filled days ahead!

xxx

Someone asked me a few days ago how a Christian Witch celebrates Easter. In response to that question I can only ask another: How do you want to celebrate Easter? What does it mean to you? How does Life manifest itself within you? What story does it speak, of what roads travelled?

As part of the writing process for a new book, I’ve been reflecting a lot about my role in the teaching of what Christian Witchcraft is. It dawns on me that I cannot say how a Christian Witch does anything. I can only say how this Christian Witch does. I cannot tell you how to be a Christian Witch. Only your Lord can do that. If you need a candle to sit by Him, go ahead and light one. If you need to take out symbols and do a complex ritual, OK. If He takes you by the side of a river, urges you for a walk, or takes you to a sanctuary, go there. He said: The kingdom of God is inside of you and outside of you. Trust Him. He’ll get you there.

So, this Christian Witch, this year, sat in her living room and listened to what her Lord had to tell her about her life. She spent time with her family, eating and laughing. For the first time in years, she didn’t even go to church. I just wanted to be alone in silence, without the pomp and circumstance of complex ritual. But that’s just this year… Who knows what Life will teach me next year.


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My dear friends,

I just finished my hectic job at the long-term care residence and my brain is trying to go back to a somewhat normal beat. I’m now looking forward to two weeks of rest and reflection, which should take me right up to Easter. How wonderful!

Part of the plan for this vacation was to start writing again and getting concrete ideas of where I want to take this second book. I’m hovering between a formal guide on how to practice Christian Witchcraft (as if there really could be ONE formal guide) and a continuation of my journey and how this practice came into being for me. I took out my old journals and workbooks and scanned over the first few years of my practice of Witchcraft. On these scribbled pages, I clearly see two parallel journeys: That of the student, doing her exercises, practicing her techniques and doing more spells and journeys than I actually remember, and that of the girl on an inner journey of questioning who I was, what I believed, of being torn in front of God and in front of others, of wanting to express something great and not having the words or the courage to express it. I followed this young girl in her ups and downs and often her intense state of melancholy and existential angst. I remember this girl from the depths of my memory and I still feel the intense struggle she went through, the nights of supplication for even a spark of clarity. I remember her.

What came as a surprise to me as I leafed through the pages of my life is how long that period of questioning was and how the ‘Coming together’ is a relatively recent occurrence. I’ve been bathing in Christian Paganism so intensely for the last few years, that it feels like it’s been this way all my life. But it hasn’t. Looking through my notes, I realized that it has only been about four years that I have felt this strong about what I believe. It’s as if the first part of my journey into Paganism and Christianity was merely a time to bring certain pieces in close proximity. Then, at some point, they fused together and the doubt was gone. I’ve never felt more solid about what I believe than I do right now. I believe there is magic in the world. I believe that Jesus showed us that magic and that he opened up our eyes to a new vision of the world. I believe that God is many things and that every expression of Him/Her is a sacred gift. It’s who I am, totally and completely. What happened to turn that young guilt-ridden girl into the woman I am today? Just Life, I think. And a little inner Flame.

I wanted to share this to show that transformation does not happen over night. Sometimes the road ahead is foggy. You just have to keep walking on the path you have chosen and each step will bring a little more clarity. Until the fog lifts. Let the pieces migrate towards you, try things, learn things. Then one day, without rhyme or reason, something changes and you can step up and become what you are, whatever that may be.

That’s it for me. I’m dedicating my vacation and the last two weeks of Lent to resting and reflecting. May it be a fruitful time for all of you. I’ll see you all on the path to the glorious resurrection. Until then, God/des bless.

I’ve been pondering all week about how I would follow-up my last post. I even sat down twice to stare at a blank screen and decided to wait some more. How do I teach how magic is done?

The dilemma is this: Can I tell you how it’s done? Or do you have to discover it for yourself? Can a lesson really substitute a life’s journey? Somehow, I don’t think so. At best, I can offer some road signs that you may (or not) recognize as you walk your path.

As I pondered the dilemma at hand, it came to me that working the magic of the world was more a state of being rather than a recipe you follow. Of course, you still need certain ingredients, but it all rests on a state of being, a dance with the worlds, that can only be learned when you recognize the intricate rhythm of the music of the universe.

My initial reflection yielded the following observations:

1) To work the magic of the worlds, you have to understand the fabric of the universe. You have to understand what the universe is made of, how it is put together, what is this energy that flows and binds it. You have to touch it, feel it, sense it. You have to be part of it.

2) You have to turn on the Vision. I have always claimed that to be a Witch, you have to be nature literate. You have to be able to ‘read the signs of the times’. You have to be able to walk in communion with all that is, take your place in the circle of life as a creator and a mediator. You have to know the language of the universe, its way of speaking in symbols and of reaching you on the most intimate level. For this, you have to be able to go within, deep within that sacred space and feel no doubt that the Divine wants to connect with you at every moment of your life. A life of magic is a life of communion with the Sacred Source.

3) When I went within and tried to tease out the elements that make Magic possible, three words came to my mind: humility, gratitude and wonderment.

Humility is the understanding that everyone else is worth as much as you. When you acknowledge that, you can neither harm others, nor deprive yourself of the best God has to offer. A life of humility also means that you believe that there is something greater than yourself. Living in the bosom of that greatness is the first step towards union with it.

Gratitude: Where you look, there is your future. What you focus on grows. Living in gratitude means you live in a world of benevolence, of compassion, of sharing. You build that world by living with your daily blessings. When you live in gratitude, you let your blessings flow.

Finally, there is no magic without a sense of wonderment at the greatness of God and what s/he is continually creating and re-creating. Even an infinitesimal realization of what we are part of should send us singing for joy.

I don’t know where my journey will take me next or what I will learn tomorrow. Each one of our journeys are different for we are all different expressions of God. Do not doubt your path. It is the most sacred gift you can offer to God and to all of us.

Blessings on your journeys!