I’ve been feeling melancholy lately. Missing the James Bay territory terribly. It’s hard to explain to someone who has never been there or even who has never been away from the city. But my husband and I are having a difficult time adjusting. I know, it’s only been a few months and it’s going to take time. But I feel like a stranger in my own community. It’s as if I see all the little things that prevent people from being free and happy and I feel completely disillusioned. Of course, I remind myself that I am privileged that I even had the chance to take a step back to gain this new vision. But how to deal with the fact that I don’t really want to fit into ‘this’ anymore. I see all the pressure that people put on themselves and each other, the expectations to behave and be perfect, even on our little kids. I miss a place where all you need to be happy is a couple of people and a bowl of food you bring to share.

That being said, I don’t want to sound pessimistic. We are all quite fine really, when you come to think of it. But I caught myself wallowing in this state of uncertainty, wondering where to go next, what our next steps should be, and I am thinking: I’m a witch, for crying out loud. I make things happen! And I do, no doubt about it, in the most extraordinary of ways, with the help of the Great Source and with my Lord as my guide. I realized this week that really the hardest part of getting what you want isn’t making it happen. It’s knowing exactly what you want. As I whipped myself back into shape, for the first time in a long, long time, I knew exactly what I wanted. I got suddenly very scared. It is so rare to have complete certainty in anything, that it took me aback and fear rushed in. Fear of making a mistake? Fear that it was somehow arrogant to expect what I wanted? Fear of this great power within me? But like I said, I’m a Witch. It’s now know what I want. I have a short list of concrete things that I want in my life. It’s written down. I’ll present it on the next full moon as an indication to the Source that this is what I want and that I am prepared to work for this, with the Divine’s help and blessing, harming none and in perfect love.

So, no stress if you are wallowing in the abyss. Just acknowledge that you are and that, at any moment, whenever you are ready, you can change it all around.

Blessings to all!

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